Dr. Willard Harley says, "When a woman tells a man she thinks he’s wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more. He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level. That inspiration helps him prepare for the responsibilities of life. Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband’s existing achievements. When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck. A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards. For some men – those with fragile self-images – admiration also helps them believe in themselves. Without it these men seem inherently more defensive about their shortcomings….While criticism causes men to become defensive, admiration energizes and motivates them. A man expects – and needs – his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan. He draws confidence from her support and can usually achieve far more with her. "1
If you have been withholding admiring words from your husband, it may feel strange to begin. First and foremost, be authentic – be real. If you contrive admiring words, he will be able to tell. Start with one compliment or word of appreciation. It may be as simple as "thank you" and soon the admiration will begin to flow…hopefully both ways.
Not all men are admired at work. If work is a place where your husband meets opposition at every turn or leaves him feeling like a failure, he will search for someplace to be admired. It could be on the softball field, on the racquetball court, in the church deaconate, or in an on-line chat group. How wonderful it is when that place is in your heart, in your arms, in your home.
You become the mirror in which your husband sees himself. So if he’s looking sort of glum lately, maybe you need to renew your membership into the Triple A Club of marriage and try a little adoration, admiration and appreciation around your home.
A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. ~ Pr 31:10
AAA of Marriage Club -- Tips for a Happy Husband
• Place an "I love you sign in a public place." (I put a sign out side of Steve’s office window to surprise him on Valentine’s Day. The fact that all his patients say it was an extra boost!)
• Write him a love letter.
• Write an acrostic of reasons you adore, admire, and appreciate him A-Z.
• FAX him a love note to the office.
• Send him a romantic e-mail.
