Here’s the catch to being 18 today. Kids feel like adults, look like adults and sound like adults, but when they’re still living under their parents’ roof, eating their food, using their electricity, water, washer and dryer and probably driving their automobiles, it is a far cry from self-sufficiency and independence. For obvious and not-so-obvious reasons, parents and kids still need to be connected in preparation for the final launch.

This concept of connectedness, even at 18, was once recognized by colleges that served "in loco parentis" from the Latin, meaning "in the place of a parent."

Used in a sentence: "Because Biff’s parents were 200 miles away, the dean of men acted in loco parentis and disciplined him for breaking curfew, public drunkenness and vandalizing the carport at the Tri Delt house."

Used in another sentence: "Colleges and universities no longer act in loco parentis, because the kids are all 18."

There are some tricky waters to navigate at 18 -- education matters, work options, personal finances, lifestyle choices, medical care, and preparation for leaving home. While eager to paddle their own canoes, until they are completely independent and self-supporting, young adults still need occasional help steering from mom and dad.

*Article originally posted on March 30, 2006

Columnist and speaker Lori Borgman is the author of several books including  Pass the Faith, Please  (Waterbrook Press) and  All Stressed Up and No Place to Go      (Emmis Books). Comments may be sent to her at  lori@loriborgman.com .